Relationships

Relationships are the single most destructive force on this planet. Relationships are the single most influential force on this planet. 

Why do they have to be so damned hard? I know and understand the point that if you have to work at a relationship, then it is not a relationship you should be in. A relationship should enhance your life, not make it difficult. So why would a person find it hard to leave one particular person alone when they know they are a destructive force in their life? 

A story about women. For those men who need to know what it is women really want. 

As for me: I know everything there is to know about women. Except how to understand them! 

It may not be women who are the problem. Women everywhere are saying “you think?!!”. I try to understand them and the more exposure I have to experiences with them, the more you would expect me to learn about them. So why does it feel like this year has been one long learning experience, yet I haven’t learned a thing?
I’m clever enough to see the lessons. I am able to debate philosophy and karma, destiny, kiz met etc.
I’m articulate enough to express my opinion about each lesson. So why don’t I actually learn from each lesson? Is it like being at university, where although you attend the lecture, you don’t actually learn anything until years later when you implement the theory? Am I to learn from my experiences with women in the last years, to mess them up, only to implement those lessons learned and the knowledge gained in some future relationship?
I know I keep making mistakes. I had some pointed out to me not so long ago and it emphasised my attitude.
Am I too confrontational? Do I really need to change my attitude? Why can’t I just accept people for who they are and accept their lives up to this point instead of judging and critisising? People can’t help who their family are or their external influences whilst growing up, so why would I even feel the need to mention this if they can’t be changed?
So, it’s not women I don’t understand; it’s my own attitude towards them. 

Maybe it’s not just my attitude towards women specifically. I have no hang-ups when it comes to sex and equality. I know women can do everything a man can do and some things better. I have no problem meeting a woman who earns more money than me. I do not feel inadequate when meeting a taller woman. These things are not important enough to threaten me. The same would be said for meeting various men. I would love to find a woman who challenges me intellectually. I know of one. 

How selfish am I? Do I need a woman to be a blank canvas so I can impose my impression upon her? Is that what I did with my longest relationship partner? To a certain degree, I guess we did it to each other. So is this what relationships are about? Can you enter a relationship knowing that the canvas is already full from previous relationships, but be willing to turn the paper over to a blank sheet in order to start again?
Maybe that’s where I have failed before. 

What do you THINK? 

Also: 

If the Socratic method of events is to be supposed (do good and good will happen to you etc), can one make a judgement based not on whether the moral issue of an action is questionable, but whether the ramifications of such an action are worth the hassle, knowing the action is wrong? 

For example: if one is to think of committing adultery, without realising their thoughts, is that morally questionable? Is it still wrong that you thought of committing adultery, as it shows a deviance from your marital vows, albeit in your mind? 

So, if you would, under normal circumstances commit adultery, but based on previous actions you are aware these things have a way of backfiring, and the reason you don’t enter into an adulterous relationship is because you don’t want the hassle of the backfire, not necessarily the fact that you don’t want to commit to the action, is it wrong? 

Either way, you don’t commit adultery, but for very different reasons.